~*Welcome To Sidneyland*~
stolen pleasures are sweetest. watch out, i am morphine kissed.I Will Not Vote For You
I am pissed at these electoral candidates who are already campaigning when campaign period has not officially started. You know who they are. Those so-called public officials who churns out political ads in the guise of infomercials. It makes me literally sick. Think about it. If they can bend the rules today, what makes you think they will not bend or break the rules when they’ve been elected?
No, I will not vote for you Manny Villar (obvious na trying hard)
No, I will not vote for you Mar Roxas (mas obvious na trying hard and what’s with the magazine covers? I almost threw away my PEP issue for the month!)
No, I will not vote for you Ronaldo Puno (sino ka ba?)
No, I will not vote for you Bayani Fernando (your Facebook ad sucks, by the way)
No, I will not vote for you Jamby Madrigal (distributing yellow bracelets with your face on it during Cory’s funeral was absolutely distasteful) and most and foremost, I will not vote for any of GMA’s cronies who went with her to the US and spent almost 2 Million Pesos (probably some of it coming from MY HARD-EARNED MONEY) gorging themselves with cholesterol-laden food.
Let’s see who will be left and I really hope to God that someone is worthy enough to take on our lost cause.
I previously wrote that I was scared that with Cory gone, no one will wake me from my apathetic state. I was wrong. Her death actually woke me up from my indifference. I began to care again about my country’s welfare. I began to open my eyes to the disgusting things happening with our government. Most of all, I took accountability for that mistake I made five years ago when I voted for GMA. (Well, probably seeing the tax that is being withheld from my salary every payday and knowing it goes to the pockets of these officials makes my blood churn).
They say that I am only one person and my voice will not be heard. But my voice together with another and another and another will be one big voice by next year.
If that does not work, I’m a firm believer of karma. What goes around, comes around. As Conrado de Quiros said in his today’s column, May araw din kayo.
a Reblog
~*Changing Tunes*~
The last few weeks were a little intense, plenty of things happened in so little time, and I was surprised how all of these come to pass in random situations, the events that I did not bargain for which somehow happened alongside reason.
Unexpected are the monsoon rains that drenched Manila streets which was soon followed by my deep lamentation on Corazon Aquino’s death. And few days before that, I found myself at six and sevens with my dear Gabriel — being star-crossed lovers that we are — making quick trips to the gym to gain some sense of mental discipline and stress ventilators, whilst keeping the faith that we iron it out.
In the meantime I was busying myself with dance training in the afternoon, preparing myself for another trouble —- err I mean, next month’s competition, LOL — while simultaneously using half of my day’s energy for work in the morning. And yes, next day out of the blue, I’m blessed with sore muscles and fingertips that are effin’ cold, miraculously able to keep up with not ingesting anything to keep warm and still do the chacha. This is a far better retold of my college years, when I was more preoccupied with everything else and my classmates think that I’m not normal. Nevertheless I always knew I was the heroine of the suicidals.
Since then, I noticed that yesterdays were more easier to say than practice, and I was beginning to seek for spotlight. A couple of more days and I got a little bit nauseous. So a jillion of sneezing means plenty of tablets as well, when Mom started overdosing me with Vitamin C essentials at her first awareness of my illness-tendencies. Moreover, my precious brain has been wrecked beyond salvage suffering from virtual invasion, I was sleepier than usual and French Vanilla coffee got me even more induced to plenty of zzZ’s.
Oh yesss. I need a healthier lifestyle.
*******
Last last weekend punch line? Caught in a sticky wicket of flood escape with my darling. Caloocan badly needs to improve their flood water tunnels . Surfing this harsh with our feets in liquid muck is very, very unpleasant. But with your lovers hands hugging yours warm for safety? I think I would love the rain…the flood.. I think I would love it forever to be stranded with him. ♥
And guess what I’m loving Twitter and Restaurant City as well. Sleepless nights again..uh-oh.
WE should all agree that Life is random. Because everything around us happens for a reason. ♥
~*Karma Calls*~
Last week, after a series of unfortunate events happening, I’ve found out that lawful Karma has its great significance in the world after all. My thoughts on karmic effect are cynical, not to mention a rather sleazy conviction that such happens exclusively on micro-blogging services, Plurk for example, LOL.
The weekend rolled like presto — a comical adventure of wracked-up events combined with streaks of luck that curtained into classical pieces of disaster.
Many times I’m faced with a very strong dilemma that requires a little bit of a brainchild, and eventually ends up with brain suicide. Creative thinking is not very lethal, but when you’re a person born with only a 6 kilobyte memory on things that needs little memorization and you tend to encounter mishaps all the time, it would be very hard for you to get your head out of deep water, let alone not to face difficulty.
Speaking of difficulties.
- imagine a 4-wheeler vehicle traveling on a wet road and throwing water bursts from its wheel box and splashing to your low cut denims,
- you get yourself wet by a sudden heavy rain which soon made the air felt like Frigidaire icebox. and P.S. your in the middle of the road deprived of rain shields and you’re umbrella rests at home
- found yourself happy to get inside the train, but get stucked like sardines with a bunch of pretty hostile people, because your daddy won’t forgive himself if he lets you go late on your 7am office work (yeah he had to divert a road, truckloads to do) —which made you late anyway because there’s a 15 minute time addition to reach your destination from the station by means of walking, (see company office towers in Ortigas and traveling by commuting people)
- and in a few days you end up with the same kind of shit propelled by a different scenario — blood-hungry flying mosquitoes biting you, which causes an instant build-up of internal irritation aside from the irritation on your skin, and upon gazing at your office table, you see your poor wilted deskplant dying..the culprit
- you think it stopped there, but then you thought “Hey,this is what makes life worth living, right?” so you breathe, tried to align your chakra with hints of gym training for a quick stress fix, but found yourself more woozy because you’re swamped with tasks you’s unsure when to finish,
- a coupla’ more days you finally get to see your most precious dear of a lover, a week after you’ve last seen him, and now that you’re faced to face again with each other you celebrate you’re conclave with a not so nice brawl, he tells you its not a big deal, he says sorry and he knows you’re upset..big surprise here..
And you know what, at the end of each encounter all of this remain to be faults that are solely mine, and Twitter is doing a very fabulous job in reminding me all of these..
NEVERTHELESS.
As soon as bad luck progresses, good fortune comes into play.
- you see things coming to an end, but just as when you thought you’ll end up in a mad haze of a battle royale with your darling, you settled things out with a romantic dinner and a fab movie instead.. finishing the night off with a sweet kiss..mushyyyyyyyy
- you are about to go home when the rain fell in, you FORGOT your umbrella, and he saves you like a knight in shining armor with a Tribal jacket and a pretty handy umbrella to shelter you from the storm
- you’re almost zombified from working, but when he told you he misses you like crazy, it really made your day and you get yourself back to working, it’s hard to recover from constant giddy smiles you make after that..
- for the first time in your life, your mom kisses you, and hugs you so tight, and tells you she loves you, after not believing she was a good parent at all (I’m so sorrrrrrrry!)
- you go home tired and there you see bonnggang bongga in front of you, a nice hot meal prepared by your adorable daddy
- after 21 years of breathing and craving for a little sense of freedom, your eyes free itself from emotional spiritual whatever non-physical blindness, waking up to a shining bright red car right in front of you, your eyes gleaming in wonder, all yours to drive with passing A1 lessons! (thanks Daddy!)
Perhaps everybody feels this way every now and then, right? Now I’m starting to believe that good things and bad things do happen in life for a reason after all. To weigh things out. To gain balance.
Oh karma, look at what you’ve done! :]
Let’s see what tomorrow brings.
xoxo
~*At A Loss For Words*~
Wow. It’s been a long time since I last wielded my virtual pen on cyber paper. All of a sudden, it feels as if time stopped — and then in a moment’s notice — it’s hands start moving fast-forward. I’ve been cast away with emotional trauma of things unknown and yet to be known. Although a part of me lingered like a babe in the woods, the rest kept itself wise directing a right path. But for the first time in the entirety of my not so complex life, I’ve felt at a loss for words.
Recently, it seems like others have more going on than they are saying and it worries me, because I feel that I am missing something very important. I feel invisible and inaudible. I feel like not having a life of my own. I feel like everyone is hiding something from me on purpose. They keep on telling me I’m too busy to know. Whenever I try to investigate on something, it adds to the tension and I only end up getting hurt. Sometimes, I really don’t know what to do with myself and with them either. Just because I’m preoccupied doesn’t mean I don’t have the right to know or be informed. :[
I have always been a multi-tasker, a busy bee, a worker. And when I am not working, I am a princess. But life isn’t always about fairytales. It isn’t always a breath of summer, or a sparkle of magic. Sometimes a merry world turns out to be a sad little world where raindrops become tears — a dull, lifeless world with no longer silver white moonbeams. Lost in oblivion. All alone…
***
~*Waking Up My Luck*~
Days passed by with little slices of death filling in between. But I’d rather not do the Zzz-ing especially with not wanting to end up like the lamest, most inefficient employee in the world. BUT. Who cares about working anyway when a brain can’t do its proper function?
My fingertips are effin’ cold. I need to concentrate. But with everything almost blocked now how am I suppose to even concentrate. I am less efficient when I become a conformist. And the metaphor doesn’t even fit, my gawd.
***
Last night, I had dinner with my entire family at Hidalgo. The condo is situated at Rockwell, at the very heart of Makati, where the best and the brightest connoisseur of luxury in the metro lives. I was with Mom, who fetched me at Shang after work. While at the lobby waiting for my brother, we saw top-class whores dressed in sexy outfits and high heels going out on a date with American men. And then I thought, If I could sell myself, aside from money, do I get anything else? I guess there’s nothing.
Upon seeing my Tita Luay’s crib, I was hit like a wall. It was a big condo good for 5 people to live in. Because Tita Luay was a good long-time friend, she let uncle Boy stay in her condo immediately after his arrival from Dallas.
Apparently, I have never been so astonished my life; seeing people in possession of almost everything, going back and forth on trips and travels they like.
If you can’t cut the mustard, no one else will, it’s either you foul up or get a first and ten.
True enough.
And I was musing, with almost everything at the palm of her hands, what else could this really fortunate lady have lost track of aside from this great big condominium and a thousand dollar worth of her salt? Browsing over her pictures posted on corkboards, I come to believe that my Tita is’nt exactly the luckiest person in the world. Where are pictures of her family? This is what is lacking. She is actually, alone.
***
We had food delivery for dinner that night. Eventually, it was followed by the opening of the Balikbayan box which uncle stuffed full of Victoria Secret lotions, Kenneth Coles, Revlon makeup, bags, Onyss paris jeweleries, and more signatured clothes. And fyi, you don’t buy this kind of stuff on a flea market. ;]
Because you are a true-blooded fashionista and I’ve learned everything nice and posh from you since time can’t remember when, let me say a heartfelt “Thank You” for simply being the most kind uncle in the whole wide world! :] Thank you thank you for those awesome gifts uncle boy!
******
Material or not. Sometimes I really feel lucky even if I don’t have much. However, a part of me still yearns for those high-end things in life. I’ve come to believe that it’s all hardwork one should do to make a living end out of everything. I’ve come to believe in it myself. I want to be rich someday, and set my goals. At the same time, I know I should be very thankful. We all should be. We may not see it at present, at this time and age but really, we all are lucky.
xoxo
This time..
Will Sidney-rella ever find her lost glass slippers?
I’m working not to annoy my parents by being an ardent escapist. Unfortunately, the whole star-gazer thing isn’t exactly their yen for me to become the “good” child… okaay backspace.. the “better” one.
Here are the reasons why for them, I’m still very incapable of “living my own life”:
- I am disaster-prone
- I am careless slash irresponsible
- I always unforget how to forget things.
- I can’t cook a dish that I can be proud of someday (or they can be proud of someday)
- I am very spend-y and partially impractical
- I am a 21 year old cinderella with a childlike mind
Duh, like everything. I’m a rag doll princess living in Sidneyland. Apparently, one of my glass slippers was left somewhere strange wonder palace and now that the spell had broken and prince charming is on the lookout for me, I never realized to just eventually, you know, runaway with my beautiful gown— in bare feet.
NOT YET.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that — there’s a twisted side of me that is longing to move on and let go — and another delicate side of me that chooses to stay. I am still keeping the other glass slipper though, as if waiting for happiness to arrive…but really, I am hoping to find one.
Oh fairy Godmother, please help me.
Of Jose Cuervo, 6.60d Map, Ice Age and Super Sandwiches
Imagine your stupid daze after blogging away 500+ words and finishing it off with a killer headline, only to discover that you only got ZERO comment on your post. Pretty familiar huh? It goes without saying that blog entries should be short and condensed because an average captive reading-slash-attention span of an online reader is barely 3 to 5 minutes only.
So it seems like I’ll be trimming down my post to 4 – 5 sentences only. But it’s going to be difficult when you tend to prattle most of the time especially when creative juices are freely flowing and random thoughts starts gushing in. Fine, I’ll stop raving now and better start piping down a bit.
The other 2 nights was defined with perpetual ecstasy and nirvana. But if strong booze was your waterloo and your topped off with Vanilla Manhattan Cocktail and Jose Cuervo, then supreme nights might not be so perpetual at all. Nevertheless, a night could turn from virgin to vamp when Jose comes into play and totally knocks you off from your iron feet let alone make you fall head over heels.
Apparently, my Jose Cuervo wannabe turned out to be Yel-chan a.k.a Gabriel Paolo Mendoza. :] Good heavens with him, movies! Our return was sooner than we thought. Friday. After Transformers last week, our eyes feasted on Ice Age 3 in 3D at Trinoma, and movie addiction has never been this awesome. And to add up to my addiction, I’ve never been sleep deprived my entire life until DOTA came. 4 years of playing? IKR!! Blame 6.60d map that spruced up everything traditional (items, heroes, and skills) now ancient world is like playing into modern time imemmorial.
We had dinner at Oliver’s Super Sandwiches and I tried Honey Ham & Cheese Pita Light with Caesar Salad while Yel had Roasted Beef & Cheese on Creamy Baguette, we vouched to return for more. It was tad pricey, we shelled out half a grand for just those, sodas not included. Feeling thirsty, our feet levelled off at Cocktales where our supposedly cheerful milieu got disrupted by emo kids and some drunken gay behemoths. Our classic antics of bash and nonsensical talks was stupidly priceless nonetheless.
Saturday ’till mornight was Dota nights with Rheadoo and Jabi at Mineski Grounds extension. Yes, a very foolish expedient for making an idle person like me believe I am doing something very clever when in fact I’m only wasting my time. Hahaha! At least pawning noobs for a free game was worth all the stressful strategy.
And Post Script:
That’s why there are Sundays, no day is so bad if it can’t be fixed with a nap.
Hohohoho.
xoxo ♥ ♥ ♥
~*Around the bend.*~
I almost shrugged off the idea of what was coming. He was in perfect-timing, in his sincere unfeigned self, I, on the other hand, was at my earliest. Thing is, whether it’s our day or not, I would not rather hanker over another specimen, because he IS too precious for me. Maybe an old flame, like Ashton Kutcher, yes? And to be thought by everyone we were so dollified, eherm eherm. Ladies and spidermen, gorgeous people deserve gorgeous people, yeew know right? …Unless you’re some fugly fella of some sort, LOL. Anyways. I wanna say a happy happy 4th to my dollfaced darling. You know everything.. :]
So before any of this goes ’round the bend, let me welcome myself back. A 2-day almost absence from blogging when plain procrastinating sometimes works. And this may be it. The perfect time to say that I did have an eventful meaningful days of distress — of lovin’ and buffin’, of keeping up with the instability of every little thing; from the options of mind to the preference of clothes, and food and water, music too plus the funky weather. Cha mon, you can’t always update pronto right?
***
And yesterday I was at the gym with my Mommy. New choreographer, old faces. Nice routine though but difficult steps. We had a blasts working out from bench excercises and hi-lo aerobics. And Mom’s gay friend keep on telling me “Ang galing mo inday. Ang mga pilantik ng kamay! Mana ka saken! Kahit nagkakamali maganda paring tignan” Aww. LOL. Lumalaki na ang ulo ko. But seriously, I love this kind of people. When they see something in you and they appreciate your talent and say something really nice about you r talent when you’re actually doing nothing at all. That makes it worth all the effort. And you just have to keep on doing and inspiring yourself to become better right? Thanks to you Mom and Dad for making me feel like I’m the best one :]
***
So sad MJ is dead. He was my parents’ childhood years and well, I may not be a great fan NONETHELESS he was sooo loved, and it’s disheartening that death took its toll on him at a very young age of 50. His music contribution is priceless and irreplaceable.
****
And today here’s something that milled over “the writer’s block”: career talks, ice sodas, health tips and disasters, head honchos, what else yeah I forgot lol. The cook was out for good, so lunch over Mcdo Pearl Drive was a nice resort for our team’s bonding. The conversation was pretty awesome, not too mention “green”..hohohoho! XD
Just had conversation with Carmela over Pidgin about tumblarity and original postcards and I kind of over reacted to making some of my own, lol. Coz here’s a straight fact about me. Most of my stuff are either copied, stolen, borrowed or manipulated. Yeah, true enough. But that’s not at all a bad call right? I mean, seriously, I noticed most of reworks almost always turn out better when I present it; guilty to make a statement, yes? And as what my dear friend Carmela pointed out, “sa weekend na lang yung original stuff, when we have more time to churn them out “. Manipulating is my forte, and I’m always, always inspired…and please, don’t think such. Exclude plagiarizing.
***
It’s almost 4pm now. Workloads are done and I’m busy tweeting. I deleted my plurk account. For I am less conversational anyway, not to mention vain with my updates. :]
***********************
~*Romantically Ironic*~
Given how we agree life is a miracle we sure do bitch about it a lot.
***
Ah, I just love the smell of milktea in the morning. And today is mundane, another busy Tuesday in the world of corporate slavery. Nevertheless, I am perfectly in my complete self, alive and breathing. A warm chicken soup paired with a tasty loaf this morning and a moringa chocolate cofee. Frankly, on a zero-two-early day? Nothing really beats a hot dish soaked up with pieces of bread. And really, I should be thankful. The past few days actually had me nothing but an empty stomach and wasted food.
***
In contrast to what is today, I’ve felt awfully sick the past few days. Saturday and Sunday got me some nasty influenza; invading my nostrils that flared out big like it just wheezed dragon’s hot breath. I just got off my period last Friday but cramps won’t leave my system. I have a backache, I had no bowel movement for like 2 days and I’m terribly bloated like a pregnant sumbitch. Yeah, I know this sounds all too irky similar to a dead fish. (Wow that rhymed) But seriously, it’s even worse after finding out from your bestfriend Wiktionary that such symptoms defines you’re nearly to suffer constipation — or suffering one already. Uggggh. This all makes me wanna throw up with my rotten intestines.
***
At least. The whole Sunday afternoon was a hearty meal with him. I was supposed to stay at home at the thought of passing out but sure I trusted my guts, knowing that when I am with my Gabriel, I will feel much better. Of course, that whole time of siesta was spent eating nothing but artificial meat (Bodhi’s oh yeah) and footlongs, cutting his hair, bitching about bitches, laughing about the absurd bits of our personality, smelling the sun, predicting the coming of the rain, and experiencing free fall. Yeah, something carefree like that with a twist of dorkiness and excessively sentimental actions. LOL.
**
Monday was simply far out from the usual weeks I spent at the office. Been a workaholic-dweeb all day and got home as early as 6:30. And my parents were like “Why are you so early today?” Oh YEESSS. I was the perfect goody two shoes of a child born tight and proud by the omnipotent ones. Hah :]
**
AND now. It’s almost 4pm before I finally finished this entry..or thought it was finished..lol. Yeah whack me on the head now, mate. Anyway. This moment feels the exact opposite of what I told you earlier this morning. Perfectly complete self. Well, maybe not all the time.
Oh God. I shouldn’t have read that SMS.
P.S. Sometimes I just don’t know what to do with myself..Tell you about it? Nah, maybe tomorrow. :[ I’m out.
Another Day Wasted.
It’s a different kind of vertigo. Seriously. Can anyone tell me how to be cool? Like literally? Because If you’re gonna ask me how I’ve been keeping up with this bi-polar weather, I swear… whatever brilliance has been shining inside my head for this entry is predictably vanishing together with my insanity.
Alright overmuch. Or maybe just gentrified. But you know what? If you were me and I were you and your place is HOT as hell you probably would understand, don’t you? You know, I’m pretty sensitive over the weather, that’s why I love the rain and I can never stop complaining if storms keep coming. But if some scorching heat is slapping your meats in total punishment how could you not overreact? So. Puhlease. Can someone splash some cold water over my head now??
Thank you.
So it’s HOT.. that air is humid and sweat is naturally forming massive droplets onto my skin. And today was spent with an absolute meaning-less purpose. Again. Spent a hundred bucks over nothing, circumvented at the gym without 10-minute treadmill, went home, got myself a powder mixed orange juice which tasted horrible by the way, pecked on some sweet bavarian dunkin which my tastebuds appreciated,and just made myself upsettingly happy like that. Oh YESSS. I was rather feeling jaded out of the corner when things were supposed to be spiffy but actually, it was NOT. Ridiculing myself works sometimes.
At times like this, it’s best not to whine. And brag slash complain. When things get draggy and people blah* too much …… and to think it was only a dance practice that they cannot attend. Ugh.
Honestly, I think I’m gonna be sick expecting things overmuch when it exactly don’t happen.
****
At least yesterday was different…. I spent a very magical day with him. :]
Maybe I’ll blog about it tomorrow.
For now, ta~ta.
P.S. I gotta keep my head cool. Then I can write something sensible…you agree?
♥ xoxo ♥
